


Say It With Flowers

by epiclifeinruins



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Gen, He doesn't deserve any of this, Hux says it with flowers, Mitaka is too pure, Neither does Phasma, Ren is delighted, The sweetest cinnamon roll in the galaxy, This is crack, Very vividly, at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-16 01:19:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7246426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epiclifeinruins/pseuds/epiclifeinruins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Hux tells Ren how he feels, using flowers and a very terrified Mitaka.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say It With Flowers

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another fic inspired by the awesomeness that is Kylux artwork, this time by kawaiilo--ren @ tumblr. <3  
> I saw it, laughed for 40 minutes, lost my damn mind, wrote this and then laughed some more. 
> 
> This is pure, undiluted, majestic crack. 
> 
> I have no excuse for any of this.

The Operations Room had been turned into a complete disaster area. When Hux entered the room and saw the chaos, he wanted to scream as loud as he could until he passed out from lack of oxygen.

Not a single item, console or piece of furniture was intact. Everything had been crushed and smashed and the walls, and even a part of the ceiling, were covered in marks made by a lightsaber.

Hux had been standing in the middle of the room, staring in dismay at the wreckage for about 10 minutes, when someone hesitantly cleared their throat behind him.

"Umm...excuse me. General?"

Hux turned around and looked into Lieutenant Mitaka's anxious dark brown eyes.

"Yes, Lieutenant?" he growled.

"Well...umm..." Mitaka said, his voice weak as he cowered slightly in front of Hux. "I've finished the calculations, sir."

"And?" Hux said, gritting his teeth.

Mitaka stifled a sniffle and tried to keep his voice steady.

"Yes...so…my preliminary estimation of the repair costs is around 150 000 credits, sir." he said, looking down at his data pad, bracing himself for Hux’s reaction.

He was not wrong to do so.

"150 000 credits!?" Hux roared, now towering over the quivering Mitaka.

Despite having anticipated Hux’s anger, Mitaka jumped and yelped in alarm.

"Give or take 10 000, sir." he whimpered, holding his data pad in front of him like a shield.

Hux let out a hollow, almost manic laugh and banged his fist on one of the smashed consoles. He then stood perfectly still, using every bit of his self-control to stop himself from storming out of the room and seek out the only person on the Finalizer that could be held responsible for this mayhem.

Fucking Kylo Ren.

Several minutes passed before Hux turned to Mitaka with a blank expression on his face.

"Tell me, Lieutenant." he said, his voice eerily calm. "How does one communicate the phrase "fuck you" through the use of flowers?"

Mitaka stared at his superior, mouth gaping.

"I beg your pardon, sir?" he managed to stutter.

"If I wished to relay the message ‘fuck you’, how would I do that using the symbolic meaning of flowers?" Hux said calmly as he adjusted the glove on his left hand.

Mitaka blinked a few times. He wasn’t really sure how to process this question.

"Umm...I don't know, sir." he finally answered. "But I could find out." he continued, straightening his back with an optimistic look in his eyes, hoping that his eagerness to help would improve Hux’s mood.

It seemed to have the desired effect.

"Excellent." Hux said in a more poised tone of voice. "I want you to obtain this information as quickly as possible, Lieutenant, then debrief me immediately. I shall be in my quarters. You are dismissed."

"Yes, sir!" Mitaka said and saluted Hux before hurrying out of the room like a hounded animal.

Hux turned back to face the demolished room. He thought of those 150 000 credits and moaned loudly.

***

Sitting at his desk, Hux was going through field reports when his intercom buzzed. He pressed the button to answer the call.

“Yes?”

“Lieutenant Mitaka here, sir.” a voice said nervously. “I have the information you requested.”

“Come in, Lieutenant.” Hux said and pressed another button to open the doors.

As they whooshed open, Hux could see Mitaka standing outside still holding his data pad in front of his chest like a protective talisman.

“You may enter, Lieutenant.” Hux said as he made a gesture towards the inside of the room.

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” Mitaka walked up to the desk where Hux was currently sitting, stopping in front of it, his eyes darting skittishly to and fro.

“Please take a seat.” Hux said, nodding towards a chair beside Mitaka.

“Oh, thank you, sir.” Mitaka said and sat down.

“So, what have you found out?” Hux asked.

Mitaka fumbled anxiously with his data pad.

“I’ve found a number of different flowers which have symbolical meanings suitable for the…um…message you wish to convey, sir.” he said, typing something into the data pad.

“Please continue.” Hux said.

“Yes, sir. I’ve found five types of flowers appropriate for this particular purpose.” Mitaka said, his eyes fixed on the data pad. “They are as follow;” he continued as he read the text on the screen out loud. “Geraniums for stupidity, foxglove for insincerity, meadowsweet for uselessness, yellow carnations, which specifically means ‘you have disappointed me’, and finally, orange lilies for hatred.”

“What does the foxglove look like?” Hux asked.

“Like this, sir.”

Mitaka turned the device around to show Hux the image of a plant with flowers that bore a slight resemblance to bluebells, except that they were purple and somewhat bigger.

“Those look very nice, actually.” Hux said with a pleased look on his face.

“All the flowers are quite lovely.” Mitaka said, allowing himself to smile discreetly. “It will make a rather elegant bouquet, sir.” he continued. “If one disregards the symbolic meaning of the flowers, that is.” he said, his smile fading as he realized the absurdity of it all.

“Then I wish to have a flower arrangement made consisting of the five charming blossoms you have just mentioned.” Hux snickered as he got up from his chair.

“I took the liberty of placing an order for just that before I came here, sir.” Mitaka said, he too standing up.

“Outstanding.” Hux said. “Did you ask for a large bouquet?” he asked, turning to face Mitaka.

“Oh yes sir!” Mitaka said, beginning to get a bit excited. “I asked for half a dozen geraniums and two dozen…”

“I’m not interested in any details, thank you Lieutenant.” Hux cut him off. “The important thing is that said arrangement is of considerable size and contains these specific flowers. You are dismissed.”

“Yes, sir.” Mitaka mumbled, slightly chided as he turned around to leave the General’s quarters.

“One more thing, Lieutenant.”

“Yes, sir?” Mitaka said, turning around, data pad at the ready.

“I want the flowers to be delivered to Lord Ren. With a card stating that I have sent them.” Hux said, a slight smirk visible on his lips.

“Yes, sir.” Mitaka said, knowing full well where this whole thing was leading. “I will deliver them to Lord Ren’s quarters personally.” he continued, immediately regretting every word as soon as they passed his lips.

“Very good.” Hux nodded. “When will the flowers arrive?”

“Tomorrow, sir. Around lunch time.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant Mitaka.” Hux said before he turned around to look out through one of the viewports of his quarters. “That will be all.”

“Yes, sir.” Mitaka said and saluted Hux before leaving the room.

As soon as the doors closed behind Mitaka, Hux let out a soft chuckle of delight as he, with a smug look on his face, gazed at the millions of stars shining brightly outside the Finalizer.

***

The next day Mitaka could be seen walking down the main corridor of the Finalizer holding a giant bouquet of flowers in his arms.

Everyone stopped and stared at him as he hurried past them on his way to Kylo Ren’s quarters. He was desperately trying to stop himself from shaking, but all of his efforts were in vain. The anxiety he felt made him jump at every sudden noise or movement. He dreaded reaching his destination, but all he could hope for was that Kylo Ren didn’t have any knowledge about the symbolic meaning of flowers.

As he arrived at Ren’s quarters, Mitaka stood there for a couple of minutes, trying to work up the courage to press the call button on the intercom.

He swallowed hard and finally pushed it with a trembling finger. A moment passed, which to Mitaka seemed like a minor eternity, before a deep voice was heard.

“What?” Kylo Ren snapped through the speaker.

Mitaka swallowed again.

“This is Lieutenant Mitaka, sir.” he stammered. “I have a delivery for you.”

“A delivery of what?” Mitaka thought he could hear a hint of curiosity in Ren’s voice.

“Flowers, sir.”

There was a moment of silence and Mitaka actually hoped that Ren had hung up on him. But then the doors suddenly opened and Ren’s figure filled the doorway like a huge, black bird of prey. He wasn’t wearing his helmet and Mitaka caught himself thinking that Kylo Ren was a rather handsome man, in his own peculiar way.

“Someone sent me flowers?” Ren asked, the expression on his face a mix between suspicion and excitement.

“Yes, sir.” Mitaka said, holding out the bouquet in front of him. “It’s from General Hux, sir.”

Ren stared at the flowers for about 15 seconds.

Mitaka really had outdone himself when ordering them. It truly was an enormous bouquet, about 30 inches wide, made up of a tastefully arranged myriad of white, purple, yellow and orange flowers.

Ren gasped and reached for the flowers.

“Hux…really…sent me…these?” he said in a breathless staccato.

“Yes, Lord Ren.” Mitaka said, breathing out a sigh of relief as he realized that Ren didn’t understand the hidden symbolism of the flowers. “There’s a card too.”

Ren’s gaze fell upon a small card tucked in between a carnation and a lily. He carefully pulled it out and turned it over.

He read it out loud.

 

_Ren,_

_Please accept these flowers as they are an expression_

_of my sincere opinion of you._

_Regards_

_Hux_

 

Ren smiled as he buried his nose in the flowers and took a deep breath. He looked up at Mitaka, his smile widening.

“Do you think he’s trying to tell me something, Mitaka?” he asked softly, with a dreamy expression on his face.

Mitaka tugged nervously at his collar.

“Umm…I wouldn’t know, sir.” he said, letting out a nervous laugh. “I’m just the messenger.”

Ren gently stroked a geranium with his gloved finger, the smile on his face now turning into a wide, sheepish grin.

“They’re beautiful.” he said with an infatuated sigh.

Mitaka was just about to ask for permission to be dismissed when, all of a sudden, he noticed Captain Phasma walking down the corridor, heading straight for them.

She came to a halt beside Mitaka and it was clear, even though she was wearing her helmet, that she was staring at the flowers in Ren’s arms.

“Good day to you, Captain!” Ren said cheerily as he noticed her.

“Good day, sir.” Phasma answered with a somewhat confused tone in her voice.

“I see that you’re admiring my flowers.” Ren said pretentiously. “Lovely, aren’t they?”

Phasma shifted her weight uncomfortably. Mitaka noticed this and immediately felt a blind panic building up inside him.

“Yes, sir.” Phasma said. “They are very lovely.” she continued. “But don’t you find them a bit…well, rude, sir?”

Ren frowned in confusion.

“What do you mean ‘rude’?” he asked.

“Well, the symbolical meaning of these flowers…well…they’re not very nice, sir.”

Mitaka’s heart was now pounding in his chest and he felt as though he would faint at any given moment.

Ren glared at Phasma, his eyes narrowing menacingly.

“And what, pray tell, is the symbolical meaning of these flowers then, Captain?” he growled.

“They all have different ones, sir.” Phasma answered pragmatically. “The orange lilies symbolize hatred, the meadowsweet stands for uselessness and the foxglove for insincerity.” She pointed to the purple bluebell-like flowers in the bouquet. “Such a pity really,” she said, turning to Mitaka. “That such a beautiful flower should have a meaning like that.”

Mitaka’s eyes were now darting between Ren and Phasma like a delirious little bird.

“Anyway,” Phasma continued. “Yellow carnations have something to do with disappointment, I believe, and the geraniums mean stupidity. Basically, putting all of these flowers together in one bouquet is just a very creative way of saying ‘fuck you’, if you pardon the expression, sir.” she said, giving Ren a slight bow.

Mitaka watched in absolute horror as Ren’s face turned redder and redder. He almost fell over as Ren violently showed the flowers back into his arms.

“I’ll kill him.” Ren hissed. “I’ll fucking kill him.”

“Kill who?” Phasma asked, turning to Mitaka again.

“General Hux.” Mitaka whimpered, hugging the bouquet in a desperate attempt to find some form of consolation. “

Oh, dear.” Phasma said, as she turned back to Ren, seeing the look on his face.

Ren was now shaking violently, his arms rigid at his sides and his fists clenched. His face was bright red and his eyes black with fury.

Mitaka cowered behind Phasma and he was suddenly, and very intensely, missing his mother.

Ren stood there in front of them both, his broad chest heaving. Then he roared in anger, turned on his heel and careered down the corridor, swearing and yelling. Mitaka and Phasma watched in shock as he disappeared around the corner.

After a few seconds Phasma turned around to look at Mitaka who was still hunching behind her.

“Maybe I should go after him?” she said. “To prevent any…incidents.” she sighed.

Mitaka nodded frantically.

“That sounds like an excellent idea, Captain!” he said, still tightly hugging the flowers in his arms.

“I’ll better hurry, then. Good day to you, Lieutenant.” she said before she marched away with long, determined strides.

Mitaka leaned against the wall to keep himself from sinking to the floor. His knees were shaking and his heart was hammering in his chest. When he had managed to calm himself down a bit he stood up straight again. He then realized that he was still holding Ren’s flowers. He stared at them with an exhausted look on his face.

“Talk about saying it with flowers.” he muttered before he too rushed away, determined to put as much distance between him and Kylo Ren as humanly possible.

Never before had the thought of defecting been more appealing.


End file.
